DC Gave Me Trauma and Espresso Martinis

I went to Washington, DC for MLK weekend, and let me just say: the men were hot, the weather was disrespectful, and I made choices.

Night 1: Anxiety, a hookup, and espresso martinis

On my first day, I met up with a guy from Grindr.

I was nervous going into it — like, really nervous — and because of that, it wasn’t the best experience. Not horrible… just not my best work lol.

But he was genuinely nice. We ended up chatting afterward, and he randomly gave me five free drink tokens to Crush Bar. FIVE. Like… who does that? I used them to get espresso martinis and immediately felt better about life.

That little moment was honestly one of the highlights of my entire trip. It reminded me that even if the hookup is mid, sometimes the person can still be sweet. And sometimes the universe still tosses you something cute.

Bar-hopping + Green Lantern magic

Later that night, I met up with an old friend and he gave me a gay DC bar tour.

We ended up at Green Lantern, and the manager there gave me a free drink too. Which made me feel like DC was just… feeding me alcohol and validation all weekend. Love that for me.

Friday: Uncut, Berhta, and the return of “Superman”

Friday night I went to “Uncut” at this massive warehouse called Berhta.

It was your typical gay circuit party — loud music, sweat, bodies everywhere — but with a huge dark room that made everything feel extra intense. You already know the vibe.

That was also the night I saw “Superman.”

If you read my last post, you know exactly who I mean.

The party itself was fun. The first DJ was actually really good and knew how to build the energy. And if you know me, you know I love to dance. Like… when the music is right, I’m not thinking about anything else. I’m just in it.

The guy I was with that night was disappointed I didn’t go home with him… but oh well.

Instead, I ended up meeting another guy later that night — he was from Nashville and had the cutest Goldendoodle. Like the kind of dog that makes you want to settle down.

Almost.

Sunday: Marines, Navy, and the Waldorf Astoria

Sunday, I ended up meeting this young couple from North Carolina at the Waldorf Astoria.

We love a bougie moment.

One was in the Marines, and the other was a Navy cadet. And somehow… I became their first threesome.

Hot.

After that, I tried to balance it out by being a responsible adult. I toured museums, did some cultural stuff, pretended I was classy.

But it was cold AF. Like disrespectfully cold.

Sunday night: Flashy + the hottest guys

Later that night, I went to a party called Flashy with the Nashville/Goldendoodle guy.

His friends couldn’t get in because it was sold out, so he was annoyed. I did get in though, luckily. The bouncer let me through and I was able to buy a ticket somehow.

Anyway…

The guys inside?

They were hot.

Like… hot hot. Wow.

But even with all that, I couldn’t really enjoy the night. The space wasn’t big enough and they clearly oversold tickets. It was packed to the point where it felt like sardines in a can.

I’m also a smaller guy (5’7”) and twunky, so being surrounded by these huge muscular men pushing and shifting around was overwhelming. I couldn’t move freely.

So I found some space by standing on top of some seats and tried to make the best of it.

That’s when I saw him.

The Viral Guy Who Ruined My Focus

As I’m dancing and looking down at the crowd, I make eye contact with this guy who is… unreal.

And I swear I’ve seen him go viral on Instagram before — just dancing — in a video with over a million views. I’m almost positive it was him.

We kept looking at each other. Back and forth. That kind of eye contact that doesn’t feel casual. Like the room disappears and it’s just the two of you.

But no one made a move.

And honestly? I wasn’t going to.

Because he was there with a bunch of guys and he was making out with so many different people.

I mean… I don’t want sloppy seconds.

Plus, I was in an “I don’t chase, I attract” mood. And I don’t even live in DC, so what’s the point?

So we just kept eye-fucking each other.

Longer than we should’ve.

What would you guys have done in that situation?

Leaving early

It was too packed and I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn’t reach my friend either because the service was really bad, so I left early.

And honestly, that was probably the right choice.

The final hookup: falling asleep on me is CRAZY

My trip ended with one last hookup just hours before my flight home to Florida.

I Ubered over to this guy’s place… and he fell asleep.

ON ME.

Like… are you kidding?

I was genuinely upset. I tried banging on the door, but no one was answering. I tried another door and rang the doorbell.

Thank God someone answered.

I’m like:
“Hi… I was supposed to meet someone here in the room downstairs, but he’s not answering me. Do you happen to know him?”

Luckily, this guy was rooting for me. He basically went into big brother mode and made his friend wake TF up.

It was SO awkward.

But when the guy finally woke up and saw me, he magically had energy again… and he gave me a really good pounding.

So… I guess the trip ended on a high note.

Final thoughts

All in all, DC was exactly what I needed. Not just for the parties — but for the reminder that I’m still capable of living, connecting, and feeling something again. Even if some nights were chaotic, even if I left early, even if the hookups weren’t perfect… I still showed up. And that matters. Hot guys, cold AF. Would definitely visit again.